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Sunday, August 22, 1999, 1500 CDT

FROM: Dad (aka PawPaw)

TO: Jimmy & Kelley & Lisa & Peter & Whitney & Tucker

Blind Copy (so they won't see it): Sandy; Joann; Chile; Kay; CDR; Tom; Rod; CAPT Select (actually just a CDR) Wagner

Hey Kids & Grand-kids & Peter,

We had a pretty good trip to Nolin Lake, KY. May want to meet y'all there sometime. They have a nice federal campground right across the road from the marina. I know what you are all thinking, I have never been invited a second time to anyplace. Got you twice on that one: 1) I wasn't invited this time, I just notified them that I was coming; and 2) They don't own the federal campground so don't know how they could keep me out.

Trip went well until preparing for the ride home. CDR Bill Baumgartner broke my awning & didn't tell me. He taped it up with 90 mph tape apparently hoping I wouldn't go 91 mph and therefore wouldn't notice. I probably wouldn't have noticed but Tom Beistle squealed on him.

Then, on the trip back Tom broke the generator, meaning we couldn't run the overhead a/c. When I asked him what happened, rather than fess-up, he stated, "Oh, I decided we didn't need the overhead a/c so I just shut the generator off." I wouldn't have known he broke the generator except the CDR squealed on him.

Rod was the only honorable guest in the RV. When he was gassing up the front tank he hollered at me that he thought he broke it. I assume he admitted this because he is honest, but he may have said it because he was afraid the CDR & Tom would both squeal on him. Anyway, the tank was already broken, so he didn't do it.

A couple of other things: I dropped a $20 bill somewhere around the poker table and nobody has returned it; and they wouldn't let me eat with the family, in fact one night they wouldn't let me eat at all.

Joann's family has a whole section of the marina to themselves and other family members with houseboats. After I got to know Sandy's brother-in-law Chile, I could understand why nobody but family members would dock their houseboats in that area. In fact, more than likely, there were some family members I didn't meet cause they - understandably - docked their houseboats at the far opposite end of the marina.

We are spending this weekend getting ready for hurricane evacuation should it become necessary (and of course watching New Orleans favorite show this time of the year - TWC Storm Watch). We have been having a circuit breaker blow out intermittently in the 34 footer. We thought maybe the circuit breaker was bad so last night Mendy decided to change it. I went and unplugged outside so she wouldn't get shocked too bad (I hate the smell of burning skin and it was too late at night to find someone to give here mouth-to-mouth). Anyway, the outside plug fell apart. So, we started the generator and went to sleep. In the middle of the night, the generator quit. We ended up moving 3 dogs & ourselves into the 24 footer and spending the night with it's good power & a/c. This morning we fixed everything and loaded up the 24 footer from top to bottom with items we donated to the dumpster at Mendy's work.

Mendy is shopping for a new R/V. She wants one where you push a button and a swimming pool pops up on the roof; the basement drops down with a pool table in it (or maybe a bowling alley, I don't remember); and the exterior loud speakers come on announcing "Back up, back up, for your own safety please back up, the walls are about to expand." I would like a 16 footer diesel machine with bullet holes in it. Maybe we will compromise.

Guess the highlight of the weekend was yesterday. Mendy bought me a new clothesline wire and I finally got it up. Although I am gonna miss my old clothes line wire (a combination of old cable TV wire and old telephone wire), this new wire is far advanced. The clothes dry faster and smell fresher on the new wire.



PS = Hope you women are treating your men right. Whit & Tuck = don't forget to color on the walls for PawPaw when you get a chance.

Date: 8/30/99 8:59:00 AM Central Daylight Time

From: Rod

To: Jim


I just finished reading "my" web page. Great job on the KY trip!!! I was most impressed by your stirring narratives. You forgot to inform viewers that you taught me to play Gin Rummy- a great card game - but you did not tell me I could take mulligans on the Gin Rummy score. No logical reader would ever believe you could beat me in any card game. RE: Your missing $20 in the poker game.

I have caught a significant amount grief from friends, coworkers, acquaintances, passersby, & even homeless people for hanging out with a slew of lawyers. I just tell them I want to get to heaven.


Re: A Letter to the Kids & Grandkids

Date: 8/22/99 6:15:27 PM Central Daylight Time

From: Your Son Jimmy

To: PawPaw & Nanna

CC: Your Daughter Lisa

Hey Dad (papaw) and Mom (nanna), Lisaboy and Pecker, I mean Peter

Sounds like an exciting weekend and week. We need one too! If you find another one E-mail it to us, O.K?! Not much going on here this weekend. We went fishing for stripers next to the Saluda River Dam, which turned out to be not worth a dam because we didn't catch a dam thing. We blamed it on our dam guide who blamed it on the dam water not running through the dam fast enough. We never figured out who's dam fault it was, but we had a pretty dam good time, anyways. So we loaded every dam thing up and drove all the way dam home and went to dam bed.

Today we went to the Anderson Jockey Lot which is the same as Flea Market for those not living in South Cackalaky. Didn't buy much because didn't get to see everything before it closed.

.....anyways, Whitney and Tucker have promised Mommy and Daddy not to write on the walls, Nice try papaw.

Kelley's parents said the shrimp are running the best they ever have. Which when I go to CG drill next weekend she'll be going on to her parents to go shrimping. 20- 30 a throw and medium to large shrimp. Her dad's been filling up a five gallon bucket in about 30-45 mins. Sounds fun, huh?

Well an't too much more happening other than that Grandkids send their love to Nanna, Papaw, Aunt and Uncle?? as well as Son and Daughter-in-Law, and brother and Sister -in-Law.



From: D8dlo

To: looney1@PRTCNET.COM

CC: MendyOrJim

Hey Jimmy (and Looney!),

Great to hear that you are doing so dam well at the dam water. Sounds like you are still dammed glad to be in dammed South Carolina. I sure was dam glad to hear that those dam shrimp are running!! We need some for catfish bait ... those dam crawfish "Nanna" cooked for us tasted great - but the catfish didn't like them a bit!!!

If you and yours ever want to have a good time, come on down (or over) to our house boat on Nolin ... I will even clean the fish you catch!!! However, if that scurrilous character your kids refer to as "Papaw" shows up with you, make him wear a beard as a disguise. There are several game wardens and the marina owner who have "Papaw" on their 10 most wanted list ... something to do with an illegal poker game on the docks - as well as an attempt to discharge fish cooking oil into the water!!!!

Take care,

Sandy and Joann

Hey Guys,

Looks like our trip to KY was successful = just got my first e-mail from Chile. He learned to formulate the written word. I will remember this day like the day I was served with my 1st paternity suit at 9 years old.

From: Chile

To: Jim

I am glad you boys had a good time. I think Sandy saw your $20 under the table. He told me to pick it up but I said it wasn't mine, and I was dealing. So, I do not know what happened to your $20. Well we didn't go to the lake this weekend. We are taking a break from it.

But we are going this next weekend and we will jug fish and play golf. We wish you guys would be here so I can show you that I have improved in golf. You already know I'm good at fishing and cooking. I went on the gambling boat this weekend and won over 200 dollars. Susie was a winner too, she won $200. So I guess we can put gas in the house boat and go out next weekend. But if we don't get some rain soon, the house boat will be high and dry.

Sandy is still playing retired and will not do anything. Joann is doing everything for him. Will talk later. Love you guys.



Mendy let me watch the last 1/2 of a golf tourney today. Think it was called the Sprint International or the Fast Run International or the Jog International or something like that. Anyway, the winner was a plus 45. I think it was only an 18 hole tourney but not sure. If it was only an 18 hole tourney, I think you could make the cut. You oughta check into it next year.



Date: 8/22/99 11:06:50 PM Central Daylight Time

From: Sandy

To: MendyOrJim,

My understanding is that all participants in that tourney are allowed to use floating golf balls!!!

From: "James Wilson"

To: <>

Subject: No Problem! Golf Clubs

Date: Sat, 21 Aug 1999 18:24:21 -0500

I bought a Dunlop No Problem! utility wood series 13 degree loft wood at Wal-Mart recently. I like it. I kicked Rod's arse more betterer than usual. My only problem with it was that even when I tried to slice cause I felt sorry for him, it wouldn't let me. You do know Rod don't you? Where can I buy this brand, series woods with different lofts?



From: "Sales Support" <>

To: "James Wilson" <>

Subject: Re: No Problem!

Date: Tue, 24 Aug 1999 09:01:50 -0400

Mr. Wilson,

Your local Wal-Mart's Sporting Goods Department Manager can order these clubs for you. Have them call us, Focus Golf Systems, Inc., at 1-800-235-5516. We have a 1, 3, 5, 7, & 9 wood and a 3-pw iron set in The No Problem! Line. No we do not know Rod personally but we have been following his golfing hi-jinks religiously on Rod's golf page. Looks like he could have used some help in KY.

Thank you.

Sales Support

From: "James Wilson" <>

To: "Walker LCDR Rod" <>

Subject: The ROD & The TIGER = Sigh!!!

Date: Sat, 28 Aug 1999 20:11:19


I was working on the computer at home Saturday afternoon & Mendy was laying on the couch watching Lifetime (the channel for women) when she nodded off. The angel on my right shoulder whispered in my ear and said, "Leave Lifetime on, be polite, she might wake up!" The devil on my left shoulder whispered in my ear, "Change the damn station, she won't know about it!!!" Knowing me as you do, you know I listened to the Angel -- (Listened - Thought About It - Laughed About It - Forgot About It) and changed to the a golf match at Firestone.

Anyway, I told you that story in order to tell you this one:

I watched the Tiger miss an 8 foot putt on the 18th hole that woulda given him a 29 and tied him for the course 18 hole record. He missed and ended up with a 30 on the back nine (which broke the back nine record).

Anyway, I told you that story in order to tell you this one:

Watching him line up for that 8 foot putt on the 18th made me extremely nostalgic (like tears in my eyes). It reminded me of the time you were trying to make an 8 foot putt on the par 3 number 8 at Lakewood. If you would have made that putt you woulda had a 29 too (on the par 3 #8).

By the way, thinking about withdrawing your name from your golf page and renaming it for someone else. It ain't no fun needling you if you don't come back with your formerly biting & cutting responses. It ain't like you don't have time to think about them anymore = after all, you're an M guy, what else you got to do?

Oh, gotta tell you about this: Landed in Green Bay Wednesday but my luggage landed somewhere else. As I was opposed to taking a shower and then putting on dirty underwear & socks -- I decided not to take a shower. But, I called Mendy -- she said I had to take a shower. So, I located a WallyWorld & purchased a package of skivvies and some socks.

Today, I was telling Mendy that "I really liked them, I think they were OderEater brand." She responded with "Your underwear?" I am looking for a new brand of after-shower jock powder in case she wasn't kidding.



From: Rod

To: Jim

Subject: RE: The ROD & The TIGER = Sigh!!!

Date: Mon, 30 Aug 1999 08:13:42 -0500


Its nice to know you miss me; the fact that you sent this e-mail informing all who would listen that you had to make a long distance call to be told to take a shower says more about you and provides hours of untold comedy that no comedian could ever match.

I said that to say this:

I too watched Tiger miss that 8 foot putt. He took a par instead. In real golfer's terminology, he recorded all of his strokes- 4- as opposed to when you keep your score with the pencil and long eraser. No matter how many fives you can manufacture with your pencil, there's no way you can attain that score on the 18th at Firestone, even if you played by yourself!!

I said that to say this:

We should golf again soon.



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